Constant Fear

Ryan and I left for Hagerstown on Friday for an overnight trip for our anniversary.   We shared and created many new memories,  but then Friday night arrived. At 1:40 a.m. Ryan awoke to me experiencing a complex partial seizure.  Fortunately it didn't last long and were able to return to sleep.  Exactly two hours later, at 3:40, Ryan awoke (praising God that Ryan woke at the beginning of each seizure), and I was experiencing a grand mal seizure.  It took me more than 45 minutes to be able to speak.

We're not sure what's causing these to keep occurring,  but it almost seems as though they're getting worse.  Ryan and I are both scared.  I'm scared to go to sleep as is Ryan.

We'd like to have tests run, but because of my VNS device I'm not allowed to have an MRI.  It's frustrating.  We're not sure where to turn.  My body is drained and the fear is becoming overwhelming.

I just wish this would all go away.  I began to have seizures since 2011 and since then my life has changed dramatically.  I'm done.  I'm trying to be strong, but it's not easy.