Looking for the Good During Christmas...

Wednesday evening I became sick to my stomach.  I thought all was okay so I went to sleep, however several hours later I woke up and saw Ryan and my Mom trying to talk to me.  I had a grand mal seizure and they were trying to return me to consciousness.  I couldn't speak for at least thirty minutes.  We decided to go to the hospital where I stayed for about two hours before they released me.  We returned home and Ryan and I went back to sleep.  A few hours later I woke up in the back of an ambulance.  I was returning to the hospital.  I had another grand mal seizure.  According to Ryan and my Mom this was one of the worst.  I bit my mouth, had an accident and spent an hour trying to talk again.  I became sick once more when returning to the hospital.

Soon after arriving at the hospital all seemed to go down hill.  I had cat scans performed where I was told that I had an ovarian cyst.  Several more tests were done and I was told that it wasn't a cyst that I should be too concerned with.  I had several IV's placed as each one seemed to burst due to different incident.  Hours later the doctor on staff came and admitted me into the hospital.  That evening I continued to get sick on my stomach and had no sleep.  The following day I began to gain some of my strength back and met with my doctor and neurologist.  They decided that I needed to spend one more evening in the hospital to ensure that I would get stronger and that I wouldn't get sick again.

I laid in my bed and kept questioning, why?  We were 1 1/2 weeks away from Christmas and I had two grand mal seizures within 12 hours and now lay in a hospital bed connected to an IV, continued to receive shots and have blood tests taken.  This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of year, but it didn't feel like it.

I now sit scared.  I never know when the seizures are going to happen.  I was filled with so much excitement, because I had gone 1 1/2 months without seizures.  I thought we had found an answer and had come to the proper medication levels.  This, apparently, was not the case.  The one doctor thought that it was because of the stomach virus.  She believed that the virus lowered my immune system which caused the seizures.  The neurologist thought otherwise.  He thought that I needed to update my medication levels, because they were wrong and not strong enough for me.

I'm scared, but I am so very grateful for Ryan and my Mom!  Ryan woke up at the exact moment when I began to seize.  If he did not wake up when he did I'm not sure what would have happened.  This was my Christmas present.

The epilepsy needs a cure.  I keep praying for a cure.  What a wonderful Christmas miracle that would be.